things you'd like to know more about me:

things you'd like to know more about me:

1. i just became a certified massage therapist (woohoo!!) officially on sept. 27, 2007
2. i'm a taurus and i'm 28....so in chinese astrology...i'm either the sheep or the ram (why is it confusing)
3. i like to blog....that's why i have at least 3 or 4 (losing track here) different kinds of blogs from different companies: one in xanga, one in myspace, one in livejournal...and now here
4. i luff anime and manga. lately my current obsession is japanese, korean, and taiwanese dramas (mostly comedy stuff)....
5. i can be pretty sporty if the occasion arises, depending on the type of sport tho; although, i can actually play most of them...i like to go to the beach and play some football (just tossing), & always bring my tennis racket & balls (in the back of the car). my all time favorite sports - basketball & martial arts
6. if you don't know me, i'm married...for almost 8 years now. and yes, communication is the key. we also have a 5 yr old together
7. i can get really fan-girly in my posts
8. fave actors (actually current actors i have a fan-girly crush on): wu zun/chun, jensen ackles, chris evans, ikuta toma (the actor's first name is toma, but i wrote it out how it is in japan; same goes for wu zun/chun), and masi oka
9. try to find me on myspace...you'll find out more about me haha
10. fave tv shows: (american) - heroes, supernatural, the 4400, the office, lost; (asian) - hana-kimi (both japanese & taiwanese versions), ko one/x-family, romantic princess, great teacher onizuka
    

that's the jest of it so far. ;)

sept 24, 2007 - these past two weeks

the past two weeks have gone by pretty quickly. i know i was supposed to post other things, but, as you can already tell; i'm quite busy.

anyway the previous weekend (not this past weekend) i started a lymphatic massage class. pretty much the massage consists of moving the fluids in your lymph from your foot to the rest of your body (mind you we tend to store things mostly in our feet when we want to forget things). and since it doesn't have a way to pump throughout your body like how the heart does with blood flow, this massage helps you distribute the lymph flow.

so during the weekend of 9/15 & 9/16, was great; we got the introduction of the class and started to implement the techniques. little did i know how much it would impact me. first, we had to pick a partner and practice asking questions before starting a massage session. from previous massages to a death in the family, i was asked about this because it might show up during the massage. little did i know how true that was. while my classmate yuriko worked on me, there was energy stuck in my body that she needed help with. by the time the teacher came, she touched my lymph nodes around my stomach area (mostly in the chyle *sp?* cistern) and felt the energy. the minute she mentioned the word sadness, it felt like a wave came over me. and i ended up "releasing" what i was keeping inside.

what was inside me was the fact that i was still grieving from my grandma's passing in 2003. of course this type of releasing meant crying, which i tried to surpress, but it was so overwhelming, it literally came out. i shook and convulsed and cried my heart out. both yuriko and the teacher were helping me move that energy out of my body. it came in a few waves, the emotion i mean. in the middle of the first and last emotional waves, i got really cold and they stacked like 3 thick wool blankets on top of the blanket that i was on. mind you the whole room was so freakin' warm already. it felt like ice blasted on my body ...that's how cold it was. the last wave of emotion, my teacher later told me that it was some birth trauma that i was releasing. i don't know anything about this because i never took that class (so i can't even tell you what it is in detail). after everything, i will say that i became more "awake" and more lighter.

this past weekend was the last two days of the class. i released again...this time my fear of drowning. see i drowned when i was 5 or 6 when we were in philippines. my dad pulled me out of the water (we were swimming in the ocean and i didn't listen to him) and rescued me and after that incident, that caused me to have this fear of swimming. we were getting the lymph massage on our faces yesterday (sunday) and when i was in a deep state of sleeping, i noticed that when my partner massaged a certain area on my face i would wake up gasping for air and my body would jerk. when the massage was done, i told him what was going on. he told me that he supported me thru my release and asked how i was feeling. i told him i was feeling much better.

and during these two weeks, i've accomplished catching up w/the rest of the class in business law (except for the discussion board stuff online). i've also got a new fan-girly obsession: wu zun (or chun) . he's so adorable x_x...i was busy watching the taiwanese version of hana-kimi (when i had to wait for the subs on the japanese version) and noticed the yummy goodness of wu zun. *sigh* i'll post a pic up of him later

i do have a lot of things going on, but right now, i want to take it slow; that's my intention for now....it's the calm before the storm i think (midterms...etc...).... @_@

august 28, 2007 - visiting an old friend

when i read at the local town paper last week, i noticed a familiar face smiling on the picture. could it be mariela i thought....

i started to read the article, making sure that the face connected to the name and by the time they mentioned the schools i used to go to, the year we graduated, and our upcoming 10 yr school reunion, i realized it was my good friend mariela.

in the article, it states that she was one of the only female iraq vet (from this town anyway) to go to the local VA hospital (in the same town). she has been been there since 2005 (for 7 mos, she was in a coma) and currently is undergoing physical therapy.

WTF...2005?? where the hell have i been? and the past two years i have been thinking about her, wondering where she was b/c before all of us parted and walked into our adulthood, i heard that she was going to live in switzerland. and apparently she did and came back to the states and although she is currently not a US citizen, she served the country she called home.

while i couldn't visit her after reading the article that week, i went today...and it totally woke me up.

in middle school, she was one of my basketball girl partners-in crime. i think she was one of the best players i know back then. and boy did we have fun.

in high school, street ball became obsolete considering they never took care of their courts. she still shined when playing sports and was a hilarious classmate during our debate sessions in civics class.

today, i saw her in her room, sitting up watching tv on the hospital bed and me trying to see if she can recognize me. she said, "i know your face, but i don't remember your name..." (yeah i do have that kind of a face that people can remember :p) i told her and she smiled and i ended up introducing her to my daughter. she was taken aback because her daughter's name is jayla (not sure if it's spelled that way, but i'll do the best i can) and i had to repeat several times so that she can remember her name. to refresh her memory, i named most of the classmates i thought she can easily remember; most of which were familiar to her, but most of the times she can visualize the person's face from before. i wasn't trying to expect her to be the same mariela from high school, i wanted to see how much she changed because of what happened.

the change was a lot, her speech is much slower, and probably due to the incident that left her in a coma at some point, her thoughts are really jumbled and would require help to remember things. she has a wheelchair next to her bed, and requires help to shower and go to the bathroom. i hope she can walk again...but she needs her inner strength to pull her thru, at the moment, it doesn't seem like she's ready yet.

i feel sad about her story, but i'm glad she's alive. she's alive to see her 3-year old daughter and she's alive to see us once again @ the class reunion. i will see her again next week and bring the yearbook to stimulate her mind to remember things from the past- she really loved talking about it. i'll even bring my laptop and show pics of some of the people we went to school with now and update her w/anything about our old friends.

it sure is good to see her again....

august 18, 2007 - look @ your credit report!

ok so the recap of this whole week was getting an apartment. we found a place we liked and well, the process of it was a bitch. it all came to a halt when my credit report was pulled, saying i have an account in collections....WHAT? since when? seriously, i acknowledge that IN THE PAST i was a f*ckin' idiotic naive kid (18 yrs - 22), believing that ah money is not an issue...and that trusting everyone is ok. so at the present moment, we are DENIED of the apartment till it's fixed. (i was notified thru the phone about the credit report problem...while assisting a massage class...so much for relaxing)...*rolls eyes*

by the time i was 19 (1998), i met a guy who i thought would help me start a business (so i can help my relatives in the philippines) who happened to ruin my credit. the only good outcome was that i met his cousin, who happens to be my husband now). and because i was already making payments in some accounts (and much later noticing the stuff he happened to rack up under my name) the people i spoke to (from the company) said i can't do anything, keep paying for it. GED DEMN....see how f*ckin' stupid i was? i shoulda pursue the shit out of this to get it resolved.

but what did i do? i stopped paying and ignored the fuck out all of the debt. most of them became charge offs, including the one from sears. there's a significance to this account, mind you, and i am still currently researching on charge offs and the like. sigh...

so now...on monday, i'm gonna call a friend again to help me dispute this annoying f*cker out of my credit report. it's going to deny me of ever getting my own home, which i know i will have by the end of this year (or early next year). looking up these collection agencies thru google showed that 1) their business is whack and do illegal operations such as threatening you to pay or debt or else you can land in jail and 2) numerous people are suing this company for the practices they've done. unfortunately 1 company already harassed me in such a way earlier this year by the threats that i did pay $500, and have been waiting a letter from them since april stating that my account has been up to date. had i known about my fair credit act rights, i wouldn't have to pay for it. again, it was due to the naivety of my part.

so i'm telling this to all of you guys, my friends. even if you had a good balance and you closed your credit cards in good standing (old loans count too), these people WILL try to extort money from you. ALWAYS check your credit once a year...don't do it at the last minute, which i feel i was doing. look the company up thru BBB.org (better business bureau) and see if they have problems. read up on the fair credit act to know your rights; search the web for the company too, you'll be surprised to see the results. also check out forums (search for the collecting agency, and you'll find these forums...if not ask me i'll help you with that) pertaining to credit. you're not the only ones out there with this problem and the people in those forums are more than willing to help you out.

this will be resolved in two weeks...or there will be problems arising (i will probably sue if it comes down to it)...

i gotta clear my mind of this junk for the time being and have some fun....

anyways, you all have a good weekend...

august 9, 2007 - have i mentioned i was busy?

so i'm busy, if you can't already tell. lol i want to slow down in everything i do, it just seems everything's going by me in blinding speed.

i happened to try out this hair coloring (just highlights) thing off the counter...i did color my hair like last week, but it still made my hair look dark in certain lighting. >.> that was totally not my intention anyway. but b/c i was in a rush and i had to get to school...i just tried to get some strands of hair on my head and let 'er go...it fuggin turned orange at the top back part of my head....oops...guess i got too happy there. but it did lighten up my hair color. well now i know it works...i just gotta work on holding the strand of hair properly >.>

i feel like i'm in a time crunch w/everything...i gotta find a place to live, i gotta do homework, and well i do need bodies to practice on before i get my massage therapy license next month. yeah when i looked at my calendar i realized something...my completion massages are in september. oops. i've been busy promoting myself off of my myspace, so far i only was able to get the interest of one friend...so i need to keep trying.

that's all for now....

july 30, 2007 - i <3 my daniel-san

danny's my childhood best friend. in previous posts, i believe i wrote down that i had dreams about him (but since i'm too lazy to even put cuts or links from the past...why not just repeat it one more time). prolly due to the fact i missed him so much. and it's funny i had a dream about him last week; the details were sketchy, but we were having a wonderful time hanging out together. xD (check out lefteyepni.livejournal.com or on my myspace blog)

anyhoo july 30th is his birthday and i never forget him (or at least i try not to). i still consider him as a best friend, regardless of how we don't communicate at all until today. why, well, in the past i grew up as an army brat, and you had no way of keeping friends. danny was one of 3 close friends i kept since middle school and its possibly why i liked school so much. not only that my crush towards him lasted from 6th - 9th grade, then flared back up in jr year....lol afterwards, i treated him like a brother, after we bickered w/each other a few times lol.

i haven't seen him since 2004 when his youngest brother graduated. i made sure i went to his little brother's graduation; not only will i be supporting this kid that used to be snotty to me, i get to see his older brother again. this october's our 10 yr reunion. can't wait....;) i'd love to see everyone again, and i want danny to be there so i can cry on him lol.

ah...the good memories are coming back...i hope and i want to see him soon...

july 25, 2007 - blah...

exhaustion at its finest. haven't experienced that in a very long time. over the weekend i had foot reflexology class (there is a hand reflexology but they don't teach that...as far as i know) and a party i had to go to on saturday. most of the pics i have for that party is on my myspace account (www.myspace.com/lefteyepni ; feel free to check it out, as long as you have an account and i added you, there's been a surge of weirdos asking me to add them as a friend and i don't know them!!). anyhoo, the reflexology class was da bomb...in fact it only took me 5 mins of massage to completely sleep although for some reason i was still wide awake and hearing myself snore. why do i say this...i felt more refreshed and relaxed like i did sleep for an extra 8 hours. lol.

my living situation w/my parents is still there, intense and is the majority part of my exhaustion. *breathes in deeply and out* mind chatters are all over the place but disappears when i go to work. also i learned in that foot reflexology class that we tend to store all or problems on our feet. at the present moment, my left foot is bothering, due to an outburst my mom had last night. i need to shake it off.

oh look at the time...jeet kune do awaits...i'll be back

july 4, 2007 - so i found a job

a proposition came up several weeks ago after volunteering (also part of my business practicum in the massage school in order to get my certificate) to help out with the graduation, where i should help out the owner of the school (since she also is currently battling colon cancer), drive to the other schools (san francisco & san rafael) and make sure everything's in check. i had a dream that i did it, and i ended up getting a call from it, so i thought hey, "follow your dreams" right....b4 i made my final decision, asked my hubby if it's ok with him. he said yes...so i called the owner....

had an interview 4pm last monday and b/c of her condition, she had to take a shower and was late for it (the interview was held at her house). if you know me, it's not a problem, things happen. so i told her that. she started crying and i felt hella bad so i just hugged her...so we talked, told her what i did in the past and she asked how much i was looking for. i told her that it's been 3 years since i last worked so i really don't know. so she started me low (this is good, considering that i need to pay off my bills ASAP before moving out of my parents') and will gradually increase w/in the following months. the job is also good b/c i can bring my daughter with me, everywhere, AND my hours are very FLEXIBLE. this is a good thing cuz i don't have to worry about child care (and spending money for it in that matter, cuz after all i live in the sf bay area) and my hubby can start saving up, AND once school starts i can work however long is needed (that's including my schooling and my daughter's).

so i don't think i'll be able to start up that b/w pic of chris evans. it's ok, i gotta start providing for the family sometime; better now than later i suppose. besides my hubby asked if i can find a job anyway, renting here is frickin' expensive; not to mention that one of the classes i needed to graduate for my business major is work experience...and I MUST BE WORKING. anyhoo, i'll find a way to be able to draw again, although it was very refreshing to draw recently.

saw transformers on the 2nd, and saw ratatouille on the 1st. both were good movies, and yes i had to bring our daughter w/us to the transformers movie. she seemed disinterested in the whole movie, although there was one part where she laughed along ...then again we were watching the 10pm show and she was getting sleepy...you should see her drawing of optimus prime, i was quite pleased w/her artistic skills; it's been getting better and better.

well that's what i've been doing most of this week...happy 4th everyone....did i mention how friggin' hot this town is? >.> ridiculously hot that it nearly drained my soul....

June 23, 2007 - we get what we get for a reason

"I lovingly release the past and turn my attention to this new day."

This was an affirmation quote I got on a piece of paper today at the massage school's graduation for the HHP (Holistic Health Practitioner) students. Mind you this was one of many pieces of papers in a basket that I pulled out. It seems that I still do hold onto the past (with the thanks to my mom -_- who can't seem to let go and remind me of MY PAST) and this piece of paper was like a reminder for me to let it go and look at the present. It was shocking to me...so, just like what I put on the title: we get what we get for a reason. I was there today to help out w/the food and other stuff ...for most of the day, that is. Anyway, I will keep this piece of paper and remind myself in times of need that

June 13, 2007 - 10 years have gone by already

it's been a long time coming. i decided to wait for June 13th to come, considering it held a special meaning to me 10 years ago....

you know, to me, it's crazy thinking about it, but it's been exactly 10 years to the day since i graduated from high school. never had i imagined that within 10 years that i would be married nor have a child. 10 years ago i always thought to myself as being lonely, and possibly be lonely until i was 30. 10 years ago i turned 18. 10 years ago i was this naive person, although i might not seem like it, i pretty much was very naive. 10 years ago i just wanted to please my family, especially my parents. 10 years ago i wanted to be a fashion designer. 10 years ago i wanted to explore the world, but was limited to do such things, although finding freedom from my parents was my main goal. 10 years ago i wanted to learn anything and everything (only to burn out very quickly w/in a span of two months from graduating). 10 years ago i graduated on friday the 13th.

so here i am, 10 years later, married for 8 1/2 years to my sometimes kid-like of a husband, with a child who turned 5 this year. 10 years later, i start reminiscing about my fun-filled high school adventures with my friends and classmates. 10 years later how i wished i enjoyed my years in high school more, after realizing how hard life really is AFTER high school (however, i don't regret it). 10 years later i miss all my close friends back then, especially my best guy friend (i still keep in contact w/some of my close friends), considering i haven't seen him since his little brother's high school graduation in 2004. 10 years later, i saw how really stupid i was (or naive), gullible to the end, but am grateful that i didn't get hurt or messed up. 10 years later my freedom is somewhat limited, not because of my daughter, but because i moved back into my parents' house temporarily. 10 years later, i now want to be a massage therapist, and will be one by october (officially) with two degrees in my belt by the end of this year. i woulda graduated exactly 10 years later, but i kinda had too much fun with p.e. in college *hehe*. 10 years later, i'm still trying to please my parents, but now i have to add my in-laws to the mix. 10 years later, i'm no longer that naive kid, because with time and life experience, i learned more about myself than i did when i was a kid. 10 years later, i still want to learn new things and explore the world, only this time i want to share that experience with my child. 10 years later, i finally get to learn a martial art. 10 years later, i finally found myself.

i admit, though, without the struggles i faced in the 10 years that have passed, i'm 100% sure that i would still be that idiot i was back then. do i regret everything that happened to me? i probably regret certain decisions like trusting someone you met a week prior (causing me to have my identity stolen) or going to school right after i graduated from high school or even meeting that ex of mine, but without those incidents, i probably wouldn't be on this blog here today talking about how much i've changed over the years. i was mentally weak many years ago and now i can say that i've become strong inside and out. my insecurities got the best of me back then and now i learned not to even think of stupid things that could hold me back from showing my true potential. never in my wildest dreams that i can actually get a 4.0 grade point average (for people in different countries, this is straight As) while being in two schools and being a mother (hey a mother's work is 24/7) AND also learning martial arts. i can do more if i wanted to. i finally was able to figure out what i wanted to because in the past i actually could not pinpoint what i desired to do for a living, and that is all thanks to my daughter for motivating me.

by october of this year, my 10 year reunion will happen in town. i look forward in seeing how much everyone changed or how much some people would stay the same. i'm not a shy person anymore compared to how i was back then. so i have no problem chatting with anybody and everybody in the reunion. i've seen most of my old classmates on myspace and i already saw how much they changed. it's really amazing what 10 years will do to people. for those who just graduated (or going to graduate next year)...it's just 10 years, it comes and goes very quickly in a blink of an eye; you can always look back to your fondest memories, even the "yucky" ones, to see how much you grew as the person you are today. appreciate and cherish what you have at that moment because life will never be the same, ever again.

i will post some old stuff from my livejournal blog

please be patient ^_^