June 13, 2007 - 10 years have gone by already

it's been a long time coming. i decided to wait for June 13th to come, considering it held a special meaning to me 10 years ago....

you know, to me, it's crazy thinking about it, but it's been exactly 10 years to the day since i graduated from high school. never had i imagined that within 10 years that i would be married nor have a child. 10 years ago i always thought to myself as being lonely, and possibly be lonely until i was 30. 10 years ago i turned 18. 10 years ago i was this naive person, although i might not seem like it, i pretty much was very naive. 10 years ago i just wanted to please my family, especially my parents. 10 years ago i wanted to be a fashion designer. 10 years ago i wanted to explore the world, but was limited to do such things, although finding freedom from my parents was my main goal. 10 years ago i wanted to learn anything and everything (only to burn out very quickly w/in a span of two months from graduating). 10 years ago i graduated on friday the 13th.

so here i am, 10 years later, married for 8 1/2 years to my sometimes kid-like of a husband, with a child who turned 5 this year. 10 years later, i start reminiscing about my fun-filled high school adventures with my friends and classmates. 10 years later how i wished i enjoyed my years in high school more, after realizing how hard life really is AFTER high school (however, i don't regret it). 10 years later i miss all my close friends back then, especially my best guy friend (i still keep in contact w/some of my close friends), considering i haven't seen him since his little brother's high school graduation in 2004. 10 years later, i saw how really stupid i was (or naive), gullible to the end, but am grateful that i didn't get hurt or messed up. 10 years later my freedom is somewhat limited, not because of my daughter, but because i moved back into my parents' house temporarily. 10 years later, i now want to be a massage therapist, and will be one by october (officially) with two degrees in my belt by the end of this year. i woulda graduated exactly 10 years later, but i kinda had too much fun with p.e. in college *hehe*. 10 years later, i'm still trying to please my parents, but now i have to add my in-laws to the mix. 10 years later, i'm no longer that naive kid, because with time and life experience, i learned more about myself than i did when i was a kid. 10 years later, i still want to learn new things and explore the world, only this time i want to share that experience with my child. 10 years later, i finally get to learn a martial art. 10 years later, i finally found myself.

i admit, though, without the struggles i faced in the 10 years that have passed, i'm 100% sure that i would still be that idiot i was back then. do i regret everything that happened to me? i probably regret certain decisions like trusting someone you met a week prior (causing me to have my identity stolen) or going to school right after i graduated from high school or even meeting that ex of mine, but without those incidents, i probably wouldn't be on this blog here today talking about how much i've changed over the years. i was mentally weak many years ago and now i can say that i've become strong inside and out. my insecurities got the best of me back then and now i learned not to even think of stupid things that could hold me back from showing my true potential. never in my wildest dreams that i can actually get a 4.0 grade point average (for people in different countries, this is straight As) while being in two schools and being a mother (hey a mother's work is 24/7) AND also learning martial arts. i can do more if i wanted to. i finally was able to figure out what i wanted to because in the past i actually could not pinpoint what i desired to do for a living, and that is all thanks to my daughter for motivating me.

by october of this year, my 10 year reunion will happen in town. i look forward in seeing how much everyone changed or how much some people would stay the same. i'm not a shy person anymore compared to how i was back then. so i have no problem chatting with anybody and everybody in the reunion. i've seen most of my old classmates on myspace and i already saw how much they changed. it's really amazing what 10 years will do to people. for those who just graduated (or going to graduate next year)...it's just 10 years, it comes and goes very quickly in a blink of an eye; you can always look back to your fondest memories, even the "yucky" ones, to see how much you grew as the person you are today. appreciate and cherish what you have at that moment because life will never be the same, ever again.